life

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Imagery over romantic love in Astrophil and Stella I

Published December 2, 2015 by lorijss

Imagery over romantic love in Astrophil and Stella I

Many people struggle with expressing their feelings for others. In Astrophil and Stella Sonnet 1 Sidney does just that with a lover, struggle. He starts to declare how he has been trying to find the right words that would make his poem have an impact on its recipient. Unfortunately for him, this woman doesn’t give him the time of day so he is stuck with his imagination rather than any expression of romantic interaction. Incapable of writing a poem about his professed love for this woman, he does however, successfully uses succinct imagery to express how difficult it is for romantic words to come out unto the paper.
There are multiple ways to interpret some of the image-laden lines. Most notably the line “I sought fit words, to paint the blackest face of woe” where he starts to declare how he has been trying to find the right words that would make his poem have an impact on its recipient. He wants something that will arouse pity from his lover in order to get her attention. He hopes that this attention in the form of pity will transform into returned love. “The blackest face of woe” can be interpreted racially by an African American reader. If taken literally posits that to have a black face is to be in misery. It can even be seen as racist; as a woe is a thing that causes trouble and distress implying to be black is to cause trouble. The other meaning is that Sidney simply sees himself as the most depressed and sorrowful person on the face of the earth.
Sidney paints a vivid picture of the condition of his mind during writer’s block. Another densely packed imagery line is, “Some fresh and fruitful showers upon my sunburn’d brain,” is that gives the reader an idea that he is in pain, trying to force something from his head, rubbing two sticks together to create fire. The only problem is that he ends up sunburn’d. Now he would like something fresh and original, fruitful as in mindblowing and profound stemming from a shower of inspiration. There is a world wind going on inside of him that he wants to unleash but feels week, saying he is “great with child to speak and helpless in my throes.” This metaphorical imagery lets us know that he wants to lets the words out but is unable to. He empathizes with a woman late in pregnancy who cannot wait for the birth of the baby and who experiences intense pain and struggle in childbirth. “By biting [his] truant pen,” televises it in one’s mind not only that he is biting his pen but that he’s truant like an absent student who is not where he needs to be when he needs to be in school. Finally the writer is on to something, he begins to think that there is something he is not doing, somewhere he is not going.
The most powerful line of the poem is the very last one that is introduced through, “beating myself for spite,” where he blames himself. It is this self-flagellation that incites his Muse to say immediately after, “Fool, look in thy heart and write.” It would appear that this might have been more captivating if his Muse yelled this instead; if Sidney had put an exclamation point to indicate strong feelings. Upon first read it would appear that he comes out of nowhere with that command of writing from the heart, but a closer encounter shows that he beats it out of himself. One sees how closely beating is related to the heart. He is possibly subconsciously aware of his heartbeating. His muse tugs at his heartstring urging him to look within. Hence a firm statement can be just as resounding and emphatic as an indication of strong feelings. The ultimate line also vibrates (resonate, continue to cause the preceding lines to be heard) the preceding lines: blackest face of woe, great with child, and sunburnt brain, allowing underlying cohesive depth to the poem. These are examples of successfully crafted imagery. Behold, Sidney completed an imaginative poem even though it isn’t particularly the romantic-love one he set out to do in the beginning.

Works Cited
Philip Sidney. “From Astrophil and Stella I.” The Norton Anthology English Literature: 8th ed. Vol. 1. Greenblatt, Stephen, General Editor. New York: Norton, 2012. 1084-1085. Print.

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Moving forward in life

Published February 18, 2012 by lorijss

Believe with all of your heart that you will do what you were made to do.
-Orison Swett Marden

Nothing contributes so much to tranquilize the mind as a steady purpose–
a point on which the soul may fix its intellectual eye.

Mary Shelley

It’s amazing the hypocrisy that goes on among people these days especially in this dispensary. I don’t think I am use to it at all growing up where I am growing up where I don’t have to worry about people being two-faced and what not. People back home are pretty straightforward and to the point. It’s like I haven’t got used to it, where I grew up people tell you like it is. When it comes to certain people, you’ve got to cut em off for good, you only have one life. Unfortunately we humans are not blessed with that long of a life. Lol it’s funny how some people always think that you are as stupid as they are. Sometimes you are what you think of other people has, can’t get it twisted. This simple thought is a life-saver or life-changer. I’ve got to remember that more than I already do. I can’t be building people up only to have them try to put me down or for lack of better wording are not at ALL capable of doing the same for me. There is already one person in my life that does that and that is my own mother I don’t need another. Stay far from people who are not authentic. Drop people out of your life like a dead mosquito because they are only taking up room and taking up space,  from the real people that could mean so much to your life.  “Funny man get drop like a bad habit, suh nuh badda pose tough if ya don’t have it, Rastafari stands alone.” I can’t be wasting time on things that do not matter to me and will never matter to me. Trust me when I say I have done this way too much in the past, but I think I am wiser now and if something isn’t worth my time I must recognize that it isn’t worth my time and break it off immediately. It’s cool, everywhere I go to live things cannot be the same and I have to adapt to different surroundings and do the best that I can do and be the best that I can be. Then again I don’t want to be one of those people like my mother, who have mastered the act of DROPPING people out of their life that they don’t know HOW to KEEP people in their life. I want to be able to keep people in my life more than dropping them out of my life. In order to do this I have to choose wisely and keep an open mind. Birds of a feather flock together right, that’s one concept to live by. If you drop a person out of your life it doesn’t necessarily mean that that person wasn’t “good enough” for you, it just means that that person is not on that level at which you are at or they may have different interests, a different goal or purpose than yours.

I’m going to take these words and carry them with me from henceforth. I have acknowledged time and time again that I am not perfect and I am not trying to be. There are times when I am going to have those moment that are not the best of me that I haven’t put my best foot forward. I do my best to acknowledge these moments and when I do or say something wrong or out of character I take full responsibility, because at the end of the day a person is who they choose to be. I will not view anyone as my worst enemy, I am my own worst enemy because I have the choice of how I react to any given circumstance.  However I react to a circumstance life throws at me I have to take full responsibility for it,  whatever it’s effects. Most people are not going to admit that they are their own worst enemy, and many people spend a lifetime not knowing this. I don’t understand how doing the most sickest and twisted things to get someone’s attention isn’t going to get yourself dropped out of the person’s life eventually. My mother herself does this all the time but I am so use to it its not even mentioned. My mother abandoned her own children so she can get attention from my dad etc. Can a person be that desperate for attention that they are willing to jeopardize their own welfare in the process? Using someone is using someone, you can sugar-coat it all the time. Like they know they can’t offer much for that person yet they still stick around just to USE the person they can’t offer anything to. You can use someone to strengthen you, make you aware of things, make you feel better etc and know very well you can’t do the same for them even if you tried. All I want to know is: Why stick around? That’s what I wonder about my mother all the time, why stick around? Why not just be true? Stop the sick, twisted, low-down dirty games. It doesn’t help you or the person you are trying to use. Using people to impress another person is not cool it’s pathetic. What I learn from life is that if you don’t put a halt to something it is just going to continue on, you have to BREAK IT OFF. It’s good to have perseverance but sometimes this can be used against you in relationships. Because you could be persistent with a relationship and it just isn’t working out. So persistence in terms of career goals, helping deserving people I think is fine. No need to live in the present for even as things are they are becoming. I get along fine with most people and most people see me as a shy, quiet reserved nice individual at least mostly in high school, and when I was a freshman in college. But now I wanna be seen as friendly and outgoing. Sometimes you can get tired of doing the same things over and over again.  Somethings just aren’t meant to be.

Life is a choice, life is a road, I’m going to have to deal with a lot of things down the road but at the end of the day it will all have built me and made me into a better person if I look towards the light. I always have to think positive no matter what my circumstances is. Only positivity is going to allow one to see the light. I always see a light at the end of the tunnel as long as I live in hope there will always be hope as long as I live in faith there will always be faith. As long as I pray and believe good things will happen for me and my family, those I care deeply about. I’m so grateful for my dad, instilled self-worth in me and patience when it comes to matters of life. I don’t know where I’d be without him, I’d probably be dead who knows and I don’t need to know.  I have to listen to that voice within that says something isn’t right and anytime I ignore that voice things always turn out to be “unfortunate” so to speak. When something doesn’t feel right then chances are it isn’t right. What I notice is that my intuition is never wrong so I have to learn to trust myself constantly. Like a rock anytime somebody says something that is intended to be an insult to me it bounces off my chest like nothing. Why? Because my mother is the only person that have said some of the cruelest things a mother could ever say to her children. She once said that she should have sliced my neck when when I was born and many other things.  But it’s cool as much as I dislike this, some of those cruel things she has said and most importantly done to me and my brothers has only made us stronger. Anything that makes one stronger can truly be seen as a blessing if you allow yourself to see it that way. I have to appreciate what I have in my life and appreciate my life for what it is now you only have one life to live. Live it to the fullest and have no regrets, none whatsoever. I’m going to try not to have any regrets from henceforth because I guess because I am young regrets seem to be fairly active in my mind. Whatever my choices are from henceforth, I have to take responsibility for them, if they turn out to be good for me or bad for me I have to take responsibility for them either way. I also have to remember that things happen for a reason, I believe in this immensely.  I put my career at the forefront because that is my life, everything in my personal life will stem from that and this is one MAIN way to play a part in the welfare of the human race.  That’s the whole point of having a career. I don’t have to prove anything to anyone but myself and my dad hee hee loved ones. I believe in myself I have what it takes to be whatever I want to be its never too late to do anything in life it’s never too late to be anything one wants to be in this life. Forward is the only way there is no turning back, no turning back whatsoever pushing forward is my only hope.

Take responsibility for your financial situation

Published January 31, 2012 by lorijss

“Oh we’ve been through the worst… the joy it brings and the sorrow…oh it was worth it, it was worth it…I’ve been robbed, stabbed, shot, locked up and released then locked up back…looking back my life was really filled with flaws, moving in the fast lane with no time to pause. I was living life on the fast lane, like a train on the track, use me as the perfect example, look at me and where I’m at…” -Buju Banton

One of the most fearful things that people have to come to terms with in life, is taking full financial responsibility. Blaming others for your financial situation seems like an easy thing to do but ultimately if you want to get out of the financial hell that you are currently in you have to take responsibility for it. Every moment you spend blaming others or the system is time wasted, you have to instead do something about it, in spite of it all. Whatever you do about it has to be geared towards making the lives of others better and in the process making your own life better. Let’s say the financial situation is to be blamed on those that you have around you or those that are in your life. It is your responsibility to drop those people out of your life if you feel all they do is make your financial situation like hell, make whatever wise choice that fits your circumstance. Not saying that it is going to be easy but whatever obstacles you have to face will be worth it in the end when all your hard work and perseverance pays off and you look back and say oh I am so glad I did this and oh I am so glad I did that…etc. If you have been robbed by selfish criminals that have nothing else better to do because at one point they have given up and gave in, it’s ok you will blame these criminals, curse them and wish ills upon them because their unwise decision has affected you in a negative manner. But your ultimate and most effective choice sooner or later is to keep it moving, brush that dirt off your shoulders and move on. My dad has been in numerous situations like this in Jamaica so far he has had 5 vehicles stolen from him throughout his life, no matter how hard he tries to make sure that another vehicle doesn’t get stolen, criminals always find away to steal it. The thing about people that rob others they have refused to take responsibility for their financial situation(for whatever reasons) by robbing someone they are trying to force that responsibility for their financial situation on someone else. This is how Jamaica is crime is the number one problem in the country it affects everyone no matter where you live, it will affect you on a personal and professional level. It’s mostly due to political and economical reasons anyway but that is besides the point I am making in this post. If you live in Jamaica crime will personally affect your life because you can follow society’s “rules” and of course there are going to be others that break these “rules” and selfishly to take something that you’ve worked hard for, all in one night. I can list countless obstacles that my dad as faced while living all his life in a third world country such as Jamaica. Things like this are pretty normal in third world countries more so in Jamaica than most other third world countries, Haiti is economically poorer than Jamaica but Jamaica has higher crime rate.. Anyway because of my dad’s strength and perseverance he is still able to look at the brighter side of life his children are a source of motivation and hope for him. You have to step up the ladder you have to take large steps concerning your life; don’t let unfortunate circumstances of the past prevent you from moving on into the future. Remember you create your own destiny; destiny isn’t one of those things that are written in the stars. Destiny isn’t one of those things where some people are meant to be this and that, but unfortunately, not you. Destiny isn’t given to some people and denied to others. Destiny is created by each and every individual, you see people creating their destinies everyday so can you, all you have to do is believe. Believe in yourself believe in others,(family members, loved ones etc) trust the universe, trust yourself and most importantly, trust God. Believe that human beings are going to make it, mankind is going to make it and you’re going to play a role in making that happen. Don’t ever think that the role you play is too small and wouldn’t make a difference it makes all the difference in your own life and in the lives of others. It makes all the difference in the world, if you believe that it will it will.

My mother recently paid down over $100,000 dollars on a house, she foolishly and weakly decided to not bother buying the house, so she basically watched her money go down the drain. That could easily have been used to fund my brother and I’s college education but because of how long she has been putting her own foolish interest ahead of her own children then that’s what it is. Now the reason I have never brought this up is because that’s who she is that’s what I am used to getting from her, it’s actually no surprise. She is now over 50 years old and still in a weak frame of mind where she doesn’t think her children is worth squat. She doesn’t believe in herself so she doesn’t believe in her own children it’s hard for people who are not in my situation to believe this of a mother but it is true. She underrates her children and everyone in her path, she underrates herself. Now obviously if she wasn’t my mother ,originally, she would not be in my life.  I can try as much as I can to reason with her…etc. Since she is what she is she refuses to change for her children good and not even for her own good then there is nothing I can do about that. I have to take responsibility for my financial situation which is what I have been doing anyway eventually things will start to work out. The sooner you realize that you have to take full responsibility for your financial situation, the sooner you will start to reap the benefits of having taken responsibility.  I just have to keep on moving towards the road to Zion without her because for over 20 years she has been trying to hold her children back and this is the age group in which I am realizing who I am. I have fully opened up my eyes and realize that even though she is my mother having her in my life now is not going to contribute to me getting anywhere. You have to drop people out of your life who are setbacks to you, you only have one life, can’t waste it on weak people who can’t summon the strength to make sensible choices. Be mindful of who you choose to have in your life, because you have to live with the choices you’ve made. It might be a slow in some circumstances like the one I have now, process but it is one that is worthwhile and worth it in the end.

Assuming total reponsibility

Published January 30, 2012 by lorijss

Was reading this article by Pavlina of particular interest to me was the section about assuming total responsibility —-> How to Stop Complaining

  • “If I’m unhappy, it’s because I’m creating it.
  • If there’s a problem in the world that bothers me, I’m responsible for fixing it.
  • If someone is in need, I’m responsible for helping them.
  • If I want something, it’s up to me to achieve it.
  • If I want certain people in my life, I must attract and invite them to be with me.
  • If I don’t like my present circumstances, I must end them.”

These are very true or self-evident ways in which a person can take responsibility for their life. I have to make taking responsibility for my life a habit, no matter my circumstances. It isn’t easy but that is what attracts me to it the fact that it isn’t easy. If you want to be happy in life don’t expect anything to be easy because easy come easy go. But don’t expect anything to be hard either because when you think of something as being too hard that might drive you away. Instead tell yourself that everything in your life, you have ultimate creative power and control over. Life is a result of our very own creation. Don’t be a victim of any circumstance that you find yourself in, in life be a victor instead. Whatever hardships you may have in your life is worth it if you look at the good that it is capable of bringing you. If you always look at the positive side of things you will be or become a victor. If you look at the negative side of things you will be or become a victim. To have a positive impact on the future you have to start now in the present. When you deny responsibilities you are creating your own grounds for unhappiness and misery, why do that when you can take full responsibility for your life and live in joy, happiness and a piece of mind? You have to remind yourself that you create your own life, the power is in the palm of your own hands, you don’t create the situation you were born in but you create how you work with what you have or what you have been given.

SOC 101 – Socialization Race and Gender

Published January 28, 2012 by lorijss

So I was listening to some sociology 101 SEX&Gender college class from CSUDH. 101 classes seem to be the only kind of college classes that are free, its my way of not becoming a dunce lol. The professor Segio Soto was basically saying that back in the days women were seen as properties of men. (The same way blacks where seen as properties of whites except this is much worst because it’s slavery.)The double standards that exist between men and women are slowly cracking down and I am sure that 400 years from now these double standards will be depleted. (It is like race there are double standards as it concerns blacks and whites, blacks are definitely under more surveillance in society today and maybe after 400 years etc…) The objectification of women and the objectification of blacks, is tied up with their dehumanization which then leads to violence and aggression. To objectify someone,  is to dehumanize someone to justify violence against them. There is no violence without objectification and dehumanization. Lynching of blacks in history is an example of objectification, blacks weren’t seen as human beings with emotions and feelings but just seen as objects, dehumanized to justify the infliction of violence against them. And that’s just me repeating the same thing in different words because that’s how I roll. Even up to this day there specks and grains of the black man&woman being dehumanized not like before but it’s still there.

Like race, gender is also socially constructed. Men and women are socialized to behave a certain way, the professor said, “men may say, I’m not emotional, I’m a male, I rarely cry or I don’t cry at all.” because men who cry are seen as sissys or wimps and that’s how we’ve been socialized.  And he also stated that as a male child you may have been sanctioned for crying over…anything really, you may have gotten smacked or disciplined for crying. These are all socially constructed notions of how a male should behave. But I won’t mention how society says a woman should behave because it is too obvious to mention. Professor Soto stated that all human beings have the same emotions. It is self-evident that all humans have, feelings of anger, pain, happiness, etc we all have those emotions. This is random but I want to add that we should also be grateful that we do have emotions because it means that we are breathing and we have life and life is the # one most important thing to be grateful for. Anyway, Professor also stated that as children male and females are very similar, but overtime men are socialized not to express emotions, not to be compassionate,to be rational, to be aggressive and violence may even be rewarded. You know I can’t stop bringing up race, it’s like race, children do not bring attention to skin color in anyway form or shape and white kids will play with black kids and notice no racial difference whatsoever add no weight or anything to skin color, until white kids become socialized into thinking race matters, “problems” of race only occur in adulthood as a direct result of socialization.  Or I should say kids of all races will see no differences between each other until they are socialized to see it by the respective cultures in which they will be brought up in.  As kids we don’t really see each other as different nor do we treat each other as being different until we have been socialized to think that we are more different(than we actually are) and socialized into thinking we have to act a certain way. Human beings are social animals, we think we’re just being ourselves but half the time we are really socialized into thinking a certain way. It’s debatable though how much of the way we act is learnt or socialized and how much is us being our individual selves I’d say fifty fifty. Radically speaking I’d say there is nothing inside of us, nothing we didn’t put inside ourselves, ourselves. We are all living in this one big social illusion, in one society in Africa, men wear make-up not make-up as we see it in the west but body paintings. Make-up is still body paintings and in some societies only the men wear body-paintings. It’s really the power of this social illusion that is governing our lives today, what has been past down socially and culturally from generations to generations.

Sometimes I wonder do we really get wiser when we get older  because most of the time how we were as kids are really what we need to get back to. IF you didn’t care when you were a kid why should you care now, and if you care now it is what is holding you back. How we were as kids and didn’t have a care in the world about skin color or gender and how society think a person should act on the basis of skin color and gender. Professor closed off by stating that all of society is a human construction, people got together and created these ideas which are now governing all our lives,  these ideas have been built on top of each other, some ideas die, some things change on the surface and some things remain the same. I’m going to close by saying that there is really no difference between men and women more than the biological differences that we have been born with. There is no difference between human beings of different skin color than socially created differences that have been worked up to benefit one group over the other.